Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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