my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize