There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
