so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
