That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
