So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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