I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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