i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
