i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
