There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
