Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
