Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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