Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
