He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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