new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
