Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
