Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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