is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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