What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
