yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
