I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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