All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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