Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
