The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
