no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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