Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
