I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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