When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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