i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
