she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
