so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
