I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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