The maid of honor just puked.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
