and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Randomize
