I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
pray to the hookup gods
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
