I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
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