So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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