So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
