I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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