I want to have your abortion
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
