I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
