I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
