He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
