You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
