I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
