Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
