Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
