I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
