I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
