Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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