We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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