sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
