well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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