apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
