i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
