But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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