dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
