We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just pee around me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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