Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Bring me that man meat
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
