Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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