So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
