The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
