I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
