so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
