Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
