And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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