so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
