i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
