I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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